Saturday, January 31, 2004

share the lurve :)

Hidden in the cave of the heart,
Leave pain and pleasure far behind.
Those who know they are neither body nor mind
But the immemorial Self, the divine
Principle of existence, find the source
Of all joy and live in joy abiding.
I see the gates of joy are opening
For your Nachiketa.

-Katha Upanishad



Friday, January 30, 2004

milk that birthday ;)

i have been graciously allowed to postpone the holding of "37 - feels like heaven" the party..

for now at least.. but i find i am not allowed to postpone the speshul day itself :D
you guys rock :) hehehe!!

anyways... seeing it IS my BIRTHDAY tomorrow and all that :D... will be @ cafe Manto on the Parade @ Norwood from 12.30pm tomorrow... table under name of "cat"
drop in for coffee or lunch or bevvie of your choice...

and i was gonna spend the day digging up and potting my plants for their new home whereever that may be.... :D

cheers to you good people of the world..................

ciao miaow



Thursday, January 29, 2004

60 days to homeless and counting...

my landlord rang last night to say contracts will be signed today, and from now, i have 60 days to vacate... finally!! with a date in mind i can get some other wheels turning.. yay!!

on another note.. i let my b'day slide planning wise, because so much is going on around me, tho it was lovely to get cards from nish and susan today!! yay!! I have been invited to spend it at a friends place having a girlie night, but i feel bad if i have a party that all of my friends cannot attend :( i guess i can do the open house thing another time tho eh?

have the damn flu... went to training last night tho and lo and behold, i was crap.. but that's a given anyway.. but it did make me feel a whole lot better :D :D
maybe it's just snorting all that clove oil!!!!!!!!!! :D

anticipatory birthday wiigii ciao!!! xxxx caff / billi :)



Tuesday, January 27, 2004

caffiene free coffee break

just back from coffee with Ashlar, and may i say sir, you do indeed rock!!
Although neither of us actually had coffee, Ashlar preferring the more subtle tones of a malted shake thingie in a ginormous glass mug, and myself, rather foolishly opting for the pot of chammomile and cockroach tea. :) long story...

Anyhoo.. that was such a lovely way to spend an afternoon.. i could have chatted all night long!!! we must do that again!! :) oh and nice to finally meet you after nearly 2 years.. :P :)

I think Ashlar covered most topics of conversations over on his bloggie, though i'm not sure that i should even have that souvenir, let alone have given it to you, let alone have it scanned and posted on the internet for everyone to see! - Priceless!! lol.. i just happened to have left it in my pocket from that weekend and thought it would give you a laugh.. :P

I am definitely going to give the rose and lychee bubble teaz a try, and rent some more anime dvd's as per Ashlar's recommendations.

I also had an eventful ride home.. i could no doubt have asked for a lift, but it was interesting to me, tweaking at my current wanderlust, to experience my ride home as it was.
Firstly, i missed the bus by just a couple of minutes, the next one not due for half an hour, and as it was after 7pm and i had last eaten at 12.30, was getting a bit hungry to say the least.. and also had the pressure of an entire pot of chammomile and cockroach tea knocking on the lavatory door (no, not the tivoli :P), so i decided to walk from the currie st (nr King William st) bus stop to the pultney st stop, thru the mall, fancying i might find a lost spring roll or twelve and lead them astray before digesting them... i digress...
everything was closed, naturally enough, tis tuesday night, and now only the burbs are open late midweek... :-S, so i wandered up to use the conveniences and try to find something edible at maccas.. interesting...

i settled on a reg fries to tide me over til i got home.. well they've got grease and salt like springies right? lol and there the similarity ends... anyway.. long and short.. there was one of those incredibly sane mental people at the bus stop.
He asked for bus times and directions, whilst insulting and ordering me about.. and proceeding to do the same for others.. including the bus driver when he arrived... He was rude, no doubt, an absolute nutter, no doubt... but he said somethings that really got me ticking over...

"Why do you hate yourself?"
"I don't."
"You do."
"I don't, l love myself"
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."

and so on... i mean i was convinced that i did indeed love myself at the time, and didn't hate myself.. but the more i thought about it the more i questioned it...

ahh perhaps i needed to wear my personal cd player and not pay so much attention to life's unselfconscious prophets :D

wiigii ciao... tastes even better than frijoles!!



busy busy...

more opens to prepare for.. yesterday's plans with friends were cancelled which allowed me to have a day at my own pace... washing and IRONING... man so much ironing.. anyway.. um yeah... practiced ecky thump and played wilbur, watched some cricket and fluffed about on the net reading some info from Zen, Women and Buddhism, where i sometimes go and have a bit of a read.
I have so many umm 'involvements'? at the moment.. just wondering if there is room for more or if something's gonna give... i'm aware of trying not to bury myself in too much stuff as a medication to block out the world... something that Swifty is quite consciously doing at the moment.. just wondering the whole constant ponderance of what am i doing here, particularly with regard to my course.
To be honest, i think i have a big case of the wanderlust... I was following a Semi-trailer up Portrush road on saturday.. the driver turned up to the freeway as i turned west down Cross Rd to meet Christine... i ached to follow the truck... just hit the road and not look back.
I haven't felt this way in a long time.. just wanted to sell up everything (not that i've got much) and take off to whereever i end up. On the way home, i ended up waiting at a level crossing for a train... ended up being a goods train, with i think three loco's may have been four...
so you can imagine, it was quite a good sized train.... again this pull in my chest....
I wonder if that is a desire to avoid something or to discover something, to run away from or to run to? hmmmmm
maybe Ashlar can shed some light over coffee this afternoon!




Monday, January 26, 2004

i'm chuffed :)

a dear gentleman i knew as a little girl was on the officer of the order of Australia honours list today, what a yummy feeling indeed!!
Well done Gino!!
I had no idea but seeing him on the news tonight (cricket related fluke, i avoid the news whenever possible) brought back memories of long delightful childhood summers, myself and my brothers played with Gino's four sons, war mostly, some tag wrestling and "stations" - i think they may have made that one up.. it was a game based on the tv guide!!!!!
a bit of action figure action.. some cowboys and 1 cowgirl stuff.. etc. (when they would let me play - if they were feeling immune to girl germs... *rollseyes*)

We had the run of five 1/4 acre house blocks, from one street corner all the way to the next.. my grandparents on one end, Gino's parents on the other, my granparents had a 1/4 acre almond orchard, then Gino's place, then his parents had a 1/4 acre vineyard, and on the end block Gino's parents house.

good times, and my memories of Gino are of a very gentle caring man.. something very foreign to my childhood. All the more memorable eh? :)

btw, new Misfit Freedom Fighters board is up - all the MiFFi news thats fit to print and some god awful stuff too :D just as it should be :D :D

Interesting vegan french toast recipe here, let me know what it's like if anyone makes it.. that means you Jules :D :D




Sunday, January 25, 2004

it's a swan!

another great day! after training came home and pottered somewhat... then off to spend the afternoon with Christine.. including going over some details.... off to hawkers corner for dinner.. a softserve and flake on the beach... bulletproof monk on dvd, and lots of space, peace, philosophy and simplicity....

*breathe out and relax*




it can't rain all the time...

had a cool day yesterday, despite the massive influx of real estate cattle trundling thru my tiny unit... unbelievable.. agent went thru 50 flyers in first 20mins... and there was another 25 minutes of constant stream of people, including some ignormasuses who opened my cupboards!!! bastards!! went through my belongings... slamming doors... i haven't discovered anything missing yet, thankfully, and most people were quite nice.. but this tiny place doesn't cope with an influx of people that would have easily been up around the ton.

thankfully JenJen(so good they named her twice) TheRambunctiousOne, and i had a dvd day planned with abundant silliness, habibs felafels chippies and pizza.. mmm ..
took me ages to clear the negative energy out of the place... and still people were coming, knocking at the door to ask to be shown thru, hours after the open inspection.
I explained as politely as i could that i pay rent for the right to live here in peace and quiet, and to have my privacy respected, they would have to wait for the next open inspection.
Despite initial ignorance, that went over quite well i thought, as apologies ensued.
JJsgtnhtTRO and i watched the Three Amigos, the Crow, and CrackerJack.. as it was merely one of our laffs and old faves dvd days :D

anyway, i'm off to training.. more later :)

ciao ciao kiddlywinks :D xxxxx



Friday, January 23, 2004

the sun is now well and truly into Aquarius...

from: About Astrology.com

and brought to you in linkie love with: DramaQueen


January 20: Sun into Aquarius

Welcome to the future! The Sun's transit of Aquarius is
a time of progress, advancement and positive change. Where,
for example, a Cancerian influence persuades us to look
back -- on our heritage, our childhood or the past in
general -- the air sign energy of Aquarius encourages us
to move forward with fearlessness, a sharp mind and much
hope. Aquarius clears the way for transformation, from the
most minor to the most revolutionary. Embrace this in your
own life for the next four weeks; you'll feel strong,
independent and a little rebellious. It's a great time
to make new friends and undertake collective creative
endeavors, so have fun and use your imagination.

January 20: Mars Trine Pluto

When Mars, the planet of passion, forms a powerful,
positive trine with Pluto, the planet of power, things
can get very intense. Attractions will be heightened,
so flirtations may transform now into the real thing --
take that sexy vibe you've been feeling and use the cosmic
energy to make a move. An aggressive approach is in order,
whether in romance or whatever special projects or plans
you've got up your sleeve. The electricity in the air will
be tremendous, so go for it!

January 21: New Moon in Aquarius

A new Moon in Aquarius brings fresh energy surrounding
intellectual exploration -- it's a perfect day to have
your book club meet or attend a reading, lecture or gallery
opening. Seek out the innovative and unconventional, and
you're likely to find other intriguing people inspired by
the lunar energy along the way! Social issues are also in
the forefront; today's the day to contemplate what freedom
means to you in the larger context -- and to take action,
whether it's making a donation or volunteering your time.

This new Moon will especially influence those of you born
under the fixed signs, particularly Aquarians born between
January 21-24, Taureans born between April 20-23, Leos born
between July 23-26 and Scorpios born between October 24-27.

January 28: Venus Opposes Jupiter

Look out: When Venus, the planet of love, opposes Jupiter,
the planet of luck, matters of romance can seem more
fortunate than they actually are. The tension between
these two cosmic forces can mean that flattering flirtations
are actually insincere -- or it can make your emotions see-saw
in a most alarming fashion. You'd be wise to look beneath the
surface of any extravagant gestures today and to question
the motives of those who might seem very charming.

February 1: Sun Conjunct Neptune

Don't plan to operate any heavy machinery today! Anything
that requires too much focus and concentration might get
the better of you as the powerful Sun conjuncts dreamy
Neptune. This astrological event only happens once a year,
so if you're a little spaced-out, relax and go with it.
Enjoy a leisurely Sunday with lots of time for daydreaming
and exploring possibilities -- the time is astrologically
right for a trip to a museum, expressing yourself through
art or cooking a big delicious meal.

February 3: Mars into Taurus

When Mars spent time in fiery Aries, its natural home,
passions were easily ignited and the heat was on. Now
that the planet of passion is in the Earth sign of Taurus,
love will be sexy in a more earthy, sensual, slow way -- and
little luxuries will be especially nice. And you can make
slow but steady progress in your more practical endeavors;
until March 20, your determined drive will surprise your
competition and ensure your success.

February 5/6: Full Moon in Leo

When the full Moon's in Leo, the world roars! Creative,
gregarious energy and positive power will abound today and
tonight. Your attraction factor will be way up, and you'll
be open to the charms of others as well; as a fixed fire
sign with tons of magnetism, Leo provides us with amazing
confidence and enthusiasm. Pitch a new idea at work or
introduce yourself to someone intriguing -- you'll be
persuasive and irresistible. And because Leo is ruled
by the Sun, romance is hot. With all this fiery energy
in the intensity of the full Moon, just watch out for
people acting like drama queens (maybe even you!).

Those of you born under the fixed signs will be especially
influenced by this full Moon. Take particular note if your
birthday falls within the following ranges: Leos born
August 7-11, Scorpios born November 7-11, Aquarians born
February 3-7 and Taureans born May 5-9.

February 8: Venus into Aries

Today Venus begins a raucous stay in impetuous Aries. When
affairs of the heart are under the sway of the magnetic,
maddening Ram, love gets aggressive -- you might impulsively
strike up new relationships or stir up old ones. But
foresight and a sense of perspective could be lacking,
so don't let the whirl of passion that is Aries make a
fool of you. (Watch your spending, too -- Venus also rules
finances, and with impulsive Aries controlling the wallet,
debt's a strong possibility.)

February 14: Moon in Sagittarius, Venus Square Saturn --
Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day is Saturday, February 14 -- so what's
the starcast for love? The Moon in generous, adventurous
Sagittarius means flirtation and fun for singles -- and
that couples should step out and do something different.
And Venus square Saturn means love and karma create an
opportunity for growth for everyone in matters of the heart



Thursday, January 22, 2004

"There's a light, covers up my doorway...

flickering light,
never run away..."

from Napoleon Bona Part 1 & 2, by Budgie

What an interesting 24 hours or so it has been!! got to meet many a cool Adelaidean last evening... Goldie, Jenny, Dida and the illustrious James!!.

Thoroughly enjoyed meetup evening.. although i was a bit elsewhere mentally and i just hope i wasn't too rude due to that... agghh i'm an ignorant swine :) but you'se still loves me i hope :D

Big day yesterday for other reasons too, got piccies back from schutzenfest.. duh i so should have brought them last night.. but i didn't really want to harp on about ecky thump, i'm driving people nuts doing that already.. oh - an aside..

Traps for young players no. 2 - Ecky Thump...

if you want to take up Ecky Thump.. then you'd best cultivate a deep love for ironing...
those friggen hakama pleats don't get there by themselves ya know!!

iron on. iron off. iron on. iron off. iron on. iron off.

Don't enter the dojo with your gi crossed over the wrong way... or you'll be the butt of samurai funeral jokes, forget to bow entering the dojo after re-crossing, and lose your bottle performing the waza.. enough said...

and i wasn't going to go on about it!! for shame cat!! for shame!!!

ok so it ended up being an Ecky Thump post after all.. :P :)

Finally beginning to get excited about going back to college after the break, has been simply stressful in my mind for the duration of the holidays so far.. seems with a week to go i'm finally beginning to relax.. yay me! *shakes head*...
I think i have pinpointed something underneath it tho, i have mentioned a couple of times some blood sugar related issues.. but last night it really hit me..
i forgot everything so many times.. constant thirst etc... and i'd had a piece of cake and a spritzy drink thing with sugar in it @ meet up....
i was bouncing off the walls @ 2.30 tthis morning still.... i've decided to go back onto meds for the problem which causes the insulin resistance...
got a script months ago but have been holding off as i just didn't want to go there.. hmm but.. the polycystic ovary stuff has been bad lately..
so might as well kill two ovaries with one drug... the last thing i want is for this insulin resistance to turn into diabetes... then i wont be able to have cold rock anymore .. boohoo!!! Jenny!! help meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

what will i do without cold rock??????????? :@

hmm i have more to say but it eludes me at present.. i'm sure it will return sometime..

so for now...




Wednesday, January 21, 2004

tuesday's diary entry

I read a poem that i wrote some days ago, and thought how strange that an image of Nish had snuck in there... not the first time tho, you crept into the last one too when it had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with you :) twas all Nobaru after all :D.
But there's something about you and images... like i said in your comments....
anyway, that night we were talking, and you described to me the butterflies landing on your shoulder, in the white tiled room.. that image just stayed with me... like the white horses..
Now, whenever I look into the clouds i see prancing white horses, not ghost riders nor horsemen of the apocalypse. Tis a gift for imagery that you have, you and Nell Dunn, "like flys in amber the girls working in the factory are forever in the now.. " - i paraphrase from the intro to "Up the Junction". You take the ephemeral and make it perpetual. You have passion where she had grimy fact. The imagery is just a powerful nonetheless...

Today i have abandoned my home (soon to be for good) for the garden, largely to escape the toxic fumes, but also to allow the lovely Mark the handy person and all round cornice cementer to progress unhindered. He is a lovely soul, a good person - I can always tell . :)

Today i have been delighted by two tiny copper-coloured butterflies darting amongst the Erigeron karvinskianus as i lazed in the grass, tuned Wilbur, ate danishes and drank tea and spring water with Mark. I even practiced a little ecky-thump out here today.
Joining the copper-coloured butterflies now are a pair of lilac ones, and now no longer darting, the two pairs are spiralling up and down around each other, keeping to their own species of course, tis butterfly apartheid here today.

I love that i can't tell if they're mating or hating, courting or battling, fucking or fighting. Mayhap a little from column a, and a little from column b...

wiigiii ciao, you know it's delicious...



Tuesday, January 20, 2004

When body and mind grow weak, the Self gathers in all the powers of life and descends with them into the heart. As prana leaves the eye, it ceases to see. “He is becoming one,” say the wise; “he does not see. He is becoming one; he no longer hears. He is becoming one; he no longer speaks, or tastes, or smells, or thinks, or knows.” By the light of the heart the Self leaves the body by one of its gates; and when he leaves, prana follows, and with it all the vital powers of the body.

-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad



Monday, January 19, 2004

every excuse i've ever needed...

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support
Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are genuine
excerpts from the forms.
01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered
by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but
I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a
man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his
phone number? Thanks.
04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps
you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it
05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.
06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do
so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the
British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the
country. Please advise.
07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can
you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisney
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd
have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146
Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when
you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

ciao xxx billi



plug time...

Dale has passed on info re; a show at the Rhino room, Thursday 22nd Jan, 8pm, featuring:

Project X
9 1/2 Incas
Susan Johnson

get down and enjoy some Adelaide Music...



Sunday, January 18, 2004

the queen of shagsville...

as in, i'm really shagged, not as in i've been shagging senselessly for days on end... :) ;)
hmmm.... there's a thought.... *sigh*

two days at schutzenfest, pretty much wired the entire time takes its toll, although physically, i don't think i did a great deal. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, that was my first schutzenfest with my club, and me being a newbie and all, it was a great bonding experience, and a learning experience too. I got to see so much more in action, see people handle themselves in all kinds of different situations, meet partners and family members and friends of other club members, all stuff that just can't be experienced in a couple of hours twice a week.
I think some of my exhaustion comes from trying to pay attention to absolutely everything that was going on, trying to absorb information and keep it in context. I am really so very lucky, all the members of the club really go out of their way to look after me, it really is a family relationship within the club. If any of you locals saw the channel 9 news last night, and the schutzenfest roundup, you would have seen my sensei and club seniors demonstrating their skills.
Thanks to you all for the well wishes with this icky sinusey virusey thing.. i've managed to hold it at bay with disgusting saline irrigations and panadol... but today... i may just have to give it my full attention.. lots of 2nd hand smoke and adrenaline don't do much for lurgies..
but spare a thought for one of the club members who has the same lurgy but progressed to the chest and still managed to perform 3 demonstrations of waza with razor sharp sword, and go through the fighting techniques three times in two days whilst sick as a dog.... legendary performance that... if i wore a hat, it would be off to him...
and the nameless one who performed all that and the tameshigiri cutting techniques with a torn cruiciate ligament... no words for that one but it most definitely puts my lurgy in context... :) :)

I think we should all join jenny in a nice health - giving, fortifying, cure all tonic at Cold Rock icecream today... mmmmmmmmmmmmm very very yummah!!! :)

and relax thru the afternoon with the sounds of lawnmower music with the lovely Jules who is celebrating one whole year of being smoke free!!! Legend! Legend! Dead set Legend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whoooohooooo!!!! :D :D go Jules!!!

wondering how Morgan is feeling now on that couch... :) has the Tylenol kicked in yet?? hmm i watched some of that cider being consumed... and the guys following the girls who were consuming it... hehehe!!! hope you're all good now girl :D

bye bye for now.. hope you all had a fun weekend so far kids :D :D

ciao for now!!



Thursday, January 15, 2004

ergghhy!! i'm sick!

i guess it's to be expected given the stress work out i've had in the last week... but.. damn i still hate it. Had to miss training last night, not because i was physically unable to attend, but so as not to risk transmitting said lurgy to the rest of the club. damn. :(
that's assuming it is a lurgy and not a severe case of fibro flare.. given that Ashlar feels pretty crappy too, i'm assuming there's a bug going around.
Sore throat, back, neck, general aches and pains etc... fevers and chills and so on.. all could be either a virus or fibromyalgia... fibro can mimic anything!! LOL gotta admire it's versatility and universality......... :)

looking forward to some cowboy bebop goodness in my letterbox.. thanks Ashlar, you rock!!! i decided to settle in to enforced rest with some anime, voices of a distant star, as reccomended by Aaron, and ninja scroll and rurouni kenshin - battle in the moonlight all from the fabulous Alpha Video, St Morris of course. They have just about everything there.. i love it :)

enough... time to get more rest.. ciao kiddlywinks.. i'll cya all soon, promise xxxx caff



Tuesday, January 13, 2004

oompa loompa doopity doo...

ok so yesterday was hard work and sweet reward all in one.. but exhausting...
i had a bit of an emotional work out (understatement) dealing with my bro and my grandmothers estate and the whole being written out of the will coz i'm such a bad seed apparently, (that's not important) which plugged me in to some childhood wounds...
i handled myself well in my opinion, life, and most recently, iai has taught me focus and release of other peoples stuff to their own devices.

I've got another puzzle for you
Being drawn in to the family in-fighting and crap just illustrates to me how much better off i am out of the family. Nevertheless, i accorded full respect as i always have, i do that for me, because i want to be a person i can respect, not because i want anything from them.
thank god for nishu babe's shoulder to cry on, and beautiful lyrical translations, which, like all the best lyrics, were perfect for me at the time, and hit home on every count.

Oompa loompa doopity dee
Thank god for all of you, who take the time to let me know you care, whether you do it with praise, teasing, or hugs n kisses :). Thank god for all the very dear special people in my life... i am so lucky to have such amazing cohorts on this journey, you guys beat family any day!!
thank god for iai, an hour yesterday and so much shit was cleared out of me, dear nish shining bright lights on the path ahead.. you are such a sweetie!!!

if you are wise, you'll listen to me..
today, a delectable lunch with susannah involving cold rolls and yum cha, and sandwiched between two scout jamboree moments... i foolishly took the 99c bus from my bus to chinatown for lunch, full of scouts n tourists, and i mean full, i heard the word "sardine" in 4 different accents and probably in several different languages / dialects... the driver was actually directing people to shove in via the middle doors.. i've never seen taht before... and then after lunch, susannah had to take a run down to westlakes to deliver food to her daughter and husband, on one of the scout activities.. apparently the catering is not working at all...
hmm scouty day indeed!!

i did get to look at some nice brocades ad DK fabrics dida, thanks for the referral, they even had some in 150cm widths.. so perhaps i'll head back there later.. but they are around $60 per metre... hmm maybe much later :D meanwhile i'll check out glynburn fabrics too :).

life is fabulous darling :)



Monday, January 12, 2004

i'm tired

my judgement is poor.



Saturday, January 10, 2004

me loves the multi-tasking

unfortunately, sometimes i end up with felafel up my nose... don't ask :) which brings me to the new years resolution that isn't one at all. The only critter flesh i've eaten since late december 2003 is fish, going quite well but my carbs have gone weird with less animal protein around... hence the felafel.. lol :) see it's kinda relevant isn't it?
i'm so pissed off that icq sms isn't working for me - and international roaming for oz mobiles on us networks sucks - and and and... oh never mind :)
made a nice bag for training (well i like it, have to wait and see if it passes muster) it ended up with a pale rose pattern faux tapestry stretch denim on the outside, and a floral satin inside padded with wool wadding, have to check how to do the ties and tassels n stuff... not bad for making the pattern out of my head... been years since i've done that!! took a good half a day to finish, and all my guesstimates worked (been a while since that's happened too!).
I would have used chinese brocade but i couldn't find any 150cm wide.. anyone know where i can pick that up locally? the 112cm would make the cost prohibitive, would cost twice as much as a ready made silk bag..

today's musical selections have included:

Kill Bill Part 1 soundtrack
the Byrds
the J's

ordered Nitin Sawhney's "Human" yesterday... will no doubt be in search of lyrics.. you payin attention nishu? megha? ;) more bengali translations :)

restless.. should go practice.. guitar and ecky thump beckon... :)

purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!



Friday, January 09, 2004

time keeps on slipping slipping slipping

I seem to be full tilt boogie band or full stop atm (grateful dead mebbe? if i'm going with band name puns), kind of beginning to uncoil a little, now that initial inspections are complete and some reno's negotiated, i have some structure to the next few weeks (yet to be given times and dates, but a rough projection) and that has relieved me somewhat.
and i thought i was getting over being a control freak! LOL! of course i am not at all over it, just i want to be over it so much that i convince myself that i already am sometimes. :)
tragic aint i? in the best possible way of course :D :D

tired and achey, i think the best possible remedy for me atm will be a big walk, some stretching, maybe some practice, then off to buy some fabric for an equipment bag that i am going to make... nuffin quite like the practical magic of busy hands and a meditating mind...
i'm tired, i could say just about anything right now...
but i'll leave the juicy goss to others ;)

tired and achey but very happy cat says ciao!!



Wednesday, January 07, 2004

growth maybe...

You tell me one thing follows another, while i insist that love precedes desire in my heart...
I dismount my lofty high horse, and realise that we are indeed two parts of the same soul, looking upon the same love from different angles.
For while I am insisting that night follows day and a flower grows from a seed, I realise only now, looking through the lens of your heart that just as surely, day also follows night, and does not the same flower, in time, set seed of it's own?
We talked of scars of the heart, and yes mine is scarred, deeper than you can see and more than you will ever hear tell of from my lips. There is something else here you cannot see.
I am no victim.
Scars are points of strength and wisdom earned, not of weakness and ignorance.
A heart such as this is stronger and wiser than most. Strong enough not to close down in the midst of pain. Wise enough to know attacks are rarely personal, and that communications can join or divide. Be free, you are well loved.

go on! laugh at these, you know you want to.. :)

Ronin - Samurai without a master

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Tuesday, January 06, 2004

brief update...

Spoke to my actual landlord yesterday, seems she is not at all amused at being cut out of the selling deal, so she is a bit in revenge mode herself, has promised me first option on any suitable properties that come across her books, an exemplary reference, support etc, as well as getting straight onto some matters of maintenence that had been outstanding... she also has said that i should claim all of my personal belongings that were damaged due to some falling cornices and she will immediately reimburse me, previously, she had said that i had to claim on contents insurance on my own behalf... the plot thickens...



Monday, January 05, 2004

enjoyed this too much to not share it...

----- Original Message ----- From: "Nick" to "cat"> Sent: Monday, January 05, 2004 12:16 PM
Subject: its so true...

how ya going and whats up? my holiday break from work is over already - thank goodness tafe gives you more than 2 weeks. did ya have a good christmas and new year? anyway - here's a joke :)


Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power; but they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.

Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!

Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.


Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and squashing bugs.


Dear Nicksta,

don't you dare squash my buggies!!

holidays are always too short... am i even ON holidays yet?? LOL don't forget, i want your job :)

new years rocked, couldn't have been more perfect, even with the little human crappy bits that clung on to the side as they do.

how was yours?

PS you forgot, some speshul men are good at hugging, listening, inspiring, smiling whole sentences of encouragment without saying a single word, making me laugh out loud, making me cry with pride, and generally being gorgeous and filling me with hope and wonder. now where the hell are ya? i gots some heavy stuff to be moved around n stuff....

love ya caff xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



life... just keeps on coming at ya...

I may not be around too much in the next few... the owners of my decrepit rental unit have decided to sell, and so i have to be available for all the crud that goes with that, plasterers and painters trying to cover up the fact that this place is totally structurally unsound, (and the ensuing illness from my allergies to their chemicals) and open inspections where strangers get to cast their eyes and their judgements over my insignificant existence...

do i sound stressed?

i am



Friday, January 02, 2004

busy busy

welcome to 2004 everybody! and welcome my christmas gargoyle (not as traditional as a reindeer.. but what you gonna do?), his name is Navarre, as in Etienne Navarre from LadyHawke, and inspired by Deej's suggestion of Neville... :)
My pizza has just arrived.. mmm yummy.. it's a vesuvio's vegetarian... but no paprika.. umm yeah i'll try that one of these days.. :D
Had a great day today, drove to Mannum with JenJen(so good they named her twice)the Rambunctious one, her parents and her husband, and had lunch on the river (the banks of the Murray for non South Australians), a nice relaxing day was had by all, but i missed the cricket all day!!!! nooooooooooooooooooo!!! but yes, i did.
I also got a new years pressie :D so cool!!! it's an unbelievabubble bubble wand :D i had so much fun playing with JJ's niece and her unbelievabubble on xmas day, that her parents got me my very own :D see! told ya i was a big kid!!! :D
On the return journey, JJ and her husband Dave dropped by my place and Dave gave Mike the Bike the once over, and i now have access to 12 of my 18 gears... will give him a road trial tomorrow i think, before it gets too hot. Will still have to take him in to Norwood cycles as suggested by Jules to get the last gear accessable... (and hence the last six.. never mind!! i said that all wrong and i can't be stuffed editing it :)) anyway.... Thanks Dave!!! mucho appreciado :D

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and after the success of my 36DD party, i think i can safely say that my "37 feels like heaven" party shall be something of a hoot also, and i promise that the unbelievabubble will make an appearance too!!! yay!!! (it also resembles a bokken, and /or a light sabre - so it's very versatile ;))

New years was a hoot with Brian and Georgia, Luke and Zoe and Paul at glenelg... even got in a viewing of "thumbwars" and "batthumb", finally!!! I did indulge in alcamahol, one shooter, one magic maxalon tablet and 24 hours in bed and i'm all good despite a tad of vagueness, thanks muchly to Georgia for the maxalon, as i stupidly forgot to bring my own... Thanks Girl!! you rock :D

Catching up with Aaron and Nish, and the wonderful new years wishes from all of you wonderful people were the extra special highlights for me :D. Thankyou!!! xxx

ciao to you from billi :P



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